I or We?
Over the past few months, I’ve noticed a trend in the way people speak. It’s a trend that, albeit harmless to some extent, is rather aggravating to me on many levels. Also, I’m well aware of the fact that I of all people should not be such a stickler for the way people speak. Lord knows my speech is riddled with all types of ungrammatical phrases, guffaws, “you knows,” and various other onerous tics that seem to proliferate our speaking patterns and serve as a means to betray our true capabilities when it comes to properly formed, grammatically correct speech. This trend, though, is different in nature, in that it is not, technically, ungrammatical in nature, but it serves a purpose, however subtle, to empower the speaker in ways not traditionally served by the spoken language. Simply put, what I’ve encountered, on a seemingly daily basis, is conversation littered with phrases that exclude the other person from situations that were attended by both parties or, in some instances, serve to ignore an obvious fact that is blatantly known by all. Pronoun usage, or lack thereof, is what I’m writing about.
How can someone speak in such a manner that obviously excludes the other person from the situation? It’s simple, actually. All these speakers do is refer to themselves: I, me, my, mine. It’s subtle in nature, but it obviously exists. How can someone be excluded from a situation they were a part of or will be a part of in the future? Strangely enough, it happens. Speakers, or at least the ones I’ve noticed, repeatedly refer to situations where “I, me, my or mine” becomes the pronoun of choice rather than the more appropriate “we or our.” Why does this happen and do the speakers realize they’re doing this constantly?
For example, I live in an apartment with a roommate, and I’ve lived here for ten plus months. Whenever speaking in public, though, it’s not “our” apartment, which it should be, but “my” apartment. Do I not exist? Don’t I live here? Don’t I pay half the rent, utilities, etc.? I do, so shouldn’t it be “our” apartment? Apparently not. Perhaps I’m not involved in situations where I could suffer the same consequences, hear the same things, obtain the same information, or what have you. It’s constantly referred to in the singular form, never plural. It’s a strange phenomenon because I don’t think it’s incredibly hard to utter these words. Others or can’t or won’t adjust their speech patterns for unknown reasons. I’m at a loss, but I do know that it’s “their” problem and not “mine.” A case where I’ll gladly allow them to have all the credit.